Naked Hobo

The passion of the lonely and quiet dwarf Finbar McBride is trains. Fin inherits some land with an old depot in the middle of nowhere in Newfoundland, New Jersey, when his partner, also a fanatic for trains and unique friend Henry Styles, dies. He moves to the train station, where his neighbor is the Cuban Joe Oramas, who is manning his sick father’s hot-dog trailer. He also meets Olivia Harris, a clumsy divorced woman who grieves the death of her beloved son Sam. After some days, the weird trio becomes friends. IMDB

I am becoming a big fan of Peter Dinklage, who plays Finbar.  I am surprised I didn’t hear about this movie sooner.  I saw a trailer for it and heard that it could raves from critics and I can see why.  It was a cute and touching story without being all sappy and stupid.  For a first outing by director Thomas McCarthy I am wholly impressed.  Bobby Cannavale as Joe was a great casting choice.  He was annoying, yet you still liked him.  Kind of like that friend that is too likable, even though he can be a bit of a pest at times.  His body language alone should have won him an Oscar nod.

This was just the type of movie I needed tonight, nice and light with a touch of humor and a real story about people that seemed real.  I want to hang out with the Fin and Joe, 4 axes.

The Egyptian vampire lady Miriam subsists upon the blood of her lovers. In return the guys or girls don’t age… until Miriam has enough of them. Unfortunately that’s currently the case with John, so his life expectancy is below 24 hours. Desperately he seeks help from the famous Dr. Sarah Roberts. She doesn’t really belive his story, but becomes curious and contacts Miriam … and gets caught in her ban, too.  IMDB

This film is very pretty to look at.  It has tons of style, unfortunately there is not as much substance as style.  It is interesting in that it is an entirely different take on vampires from what is normally shown.  For starters there are no fangs.  In fact, there appears to be no real supernatural power other than the extened life that is granted to the vampire.

There is one thing this film needed more of, David Bowie.  I understand the point of his role, I just feel that he was a bit wasted in it.  He was cast beautifully and it would have been nice to see him on screen a bit more.  Catherine “I was in Jaws” Deneuve plays the role of Miriam perfectly.  She is both seductive as well as lonely and possessive.  She loves in the only way she knows how, a sign that she is no longer fully in touch with her humanity.  The way she treats he previous lovers shows that she cares for them, but she is too selfish to give them up completely.

This film does not get mentioned often enough when people talk about vampire films.  It is often overlooked, which is a shame because though it lacks a strong plot it is still a very stylish and sad film that broadens the range of the entire vampire genre.    There are times when it can feel a bit dated, the opening seems like a David Bowie music video I would have watched on MTV 20 plus years ago.  Still, it is haunting and you do feel for the characters, 3 1/2 axes, partly just on the wonderful direction of the film.

Now to clarify, this is the 1979 version of Dracula.  This movie does take some liberties with the original story by Bram Stoker, the closest any have come is the 1992 version by Coppolla.  However, I think it is an underrated film that really was one of the first vampire films to really introduce the sexuality of Count Dracula.  At its core it is essentially the same, a fight of good versus evil, with many innocents stuck in the middle.

I like that Dracula is humanized somewhat.  He is a lonely man and really wants to find someone to spend eternity with, which he believes he finds in Lucy.  He is also still completely evil.  We can see that with how he seduces and feeds on the frail Mina, apparently just for the enjoyment of it.

The film is rather eerie in appearance, due to the great use of gothic images and relatively low light in most of the scenes.  The direction is done remarkably well, and the casting seems to be very good to.  While some of the look of leading man Frank Langella is a bit telling that this was made in the 70’s, he still plays the role of the seductive count quite well.It is also nice to see a Jonathon Harker that has never uttered the phrase “Whoa.”

While not the best vampire film ever, I think this tells a very good story and is worth a watch if you have not seen it.  I am glad I finally got to see it all the way through, I remember in my youth catching the end on channel 18 one Sunday afternoon.  Now I can put this film to rest, 3 axes.

You know what would have made this movie better?  It would have been better if it was “What’s Happening…The Motion Picture.  So instead of Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel it would have Fred Berry and Ernest Thomas.  That would have been a much better movie.  it would have still sucked, but it would have been better.  Once again M. Night Shama-lama-ding-dong delivers a dud to your doorstep.

The film starts off fine, setting a nice eerie tone with people just mindlessly killing themselves off like a bunch of zombie lemmings.  The end, however, really falls flat and fails to deliver.  Nothing is really explained.  The whole “it’s a mystery of nature” bullshit is a copout because no one bothered coming up with anything the least bit feasible.  For the love of…..plants?  Plants got pissed off and have banded together to release some chemical into the air that makes people kill themselves.  Seriously?  Who really made this?  It feels move like a Roger Corman flick.  Wait, that isn’t fair.  Many of his films had a decent plot, it was mainly budget that screwed Corman’s films.

Memo to Mr. Wahlberg….Never take on a role like this again.  This may be one of my least favorite performances by an otherwise good actor.  He was better as Marky Mark.  The whole I’m kind of a lame, nice guy science teacher that never raises his voice doesn’t suit him. Supposedly M. Night Supa-dupa-sing-a-long wrote this part specifically for Wahlberg.  Really?  Because I know when I think of Mark Wahlberg that last thing on my mind is a slightly nerdy and totally girly science teacher.

Also, what is the point of putting good actors in your film for bit parts.  John “House of Buggin’” Leguizamo is a very good actor.  Let’s make him a whiny, weaselly dork and kill him off early in the film.  Why even have him?  Any paid at scale schlub can die off in the first 20 minutes. Zooey, well, I can’t really fault her too much for a lackluster performance.  Her character was a weak and selfish person and was poorly written.

Maybe I am just upset by the movie because it is such an obvious “Oh no, we’re killing the planet, humans are such assholes” film.  I don’t like films that have such an in your face message.  I like things to be more subtle, let me think, don’t bash me in the skull with a redwood.

Oh, and the shock end, everything is fine back in old America, but wait, what’s this over in France.  Oh no, nature is pissed again.  I think maybe it is time to whip out the agent orange, rev up your old V8 caddy, and start using lots of Aqua Net and put that bitch Mother Nature back in her place.  1 axe, that is all.

Joe, a rootless young drifter, finds work on a barge travelling between Glasgow and Edinburgh, owned by Les and his wife Ella. One afternoon they discover the corpse of a young woman floating in the water. Accident? Suicide? Murder? As the police investigate and suspect is arrested, we discover that Joe knows more than he is letting on. Gradually we learn of Joe’s past relationship with the dead woman. Meanwhile an unspoken attraction develops between Joe and Ella, heightening the claustrophobic tensions in the confined space of the barge.  IMDB

This is a film about the complexity of what makes us human.  There is no action, no explosions, no thrilling car chases.  There is a compelling story about this lonely and shallow drifter that seems to pull you in.  You want to like Joe and almost pity him, while at the same time hating him.  Ewan McGregor is brilliant as Joe, and you get to see him naked….he sure seems to like taking his clothes off in an awful lot of films.  I have now seen much more of Ewan than I ever wanted to.  Tilda Swinton is very good as Ella and I think Peter Mullen puts in a greta performance as Les.

Everything about this film is uncomfortable, from the way that Joe uses people to the tight, cramped spaces that litter the film.  It is all dark and drab and lacking color and seeming to lack life itself.  It is a bitter and desolate view of the world that many of us never experience.  Even the sex is cold and distant and lacking any erotic feel.  It is filmed superbly and everything works remarkably well, the transitions from past to present and back again, it all flows perfectly.  The cinematography is beautiful, the shots of barge slowing plodding through the still waters of the canals, the cramped quarters inside.

I love seeing Ewan playing a role that really streches his abilities.  In more mainstream flicks his talent is often under utilized and neglected.  He really is an incredible actor, and it is in smaller films like this one that he really shines.

I really want to read the book that the film is based on.  From what I have heard there is so much more in the book, I know, cliche the book is always better than the film.  Still, it is not often I see a film and still want to read the book.  The story is spoiled for me, what more can the book do.  The film is filled with symbolism and apparently the book is overflowing with it.

If you want to see a great film that is driven by the characters and not the same drivel that pours out of Hollywood, check this one out.  I feel I need to watch it again to see what more I can get out of, I just think I missed so much because of the many layers to the story, 4 axes.

Adam Sandler is a strange bird to me.  I enjoy some of his films and find him quite funny, “Happy Gilmore” for example.  Now, I don’t consider him a comic genius or a great actor either, but knowing what to expect I am often amused at the least with his flicks.  This movie was one of his better showings as of late, and I would probably rank it as one of his best overall.  Just the concept, an Israeli anti-terrorist soldier that fakes his own death so he can move to New York and become a hair dresser, that has awesome written all over it.

The action sequences are some of the funniest things I have seen in a comedy for quite a while.  They are so ridiculous and unbelievable, without being stupid.  They are also very well done so as to avoid any real chessy after taste.  I wish the whole movie could have been just scenes of Zohan fighting people, though I am sure it would have gotten old really quick.  Perhaps the director knew what he was doing.

I did say Adam Sandler is not a great actor.  He isn’t a terrible actor either.  He has shown some range, times when he isn’t simply yelling and over acting.  This film he does quite good as the confident and smooth operating Zohan.  I think it is a slight step above his usual comedic roles, not a big one, but definitely a bit higher. This is not to say that the movie is more serious than Sandler’s other comedies.  This film in no way whatsoever takes itself seriously.  I think this is what makes the film work.  Those that didn’t like it I think missed that point.

As is typical of most of Sandler’s films the ending is quite corny.  I have come to expect that so I wasn’t disappointed that this film followed the same route.  It is kind of his thing, I guess.  I would like to have seen something different, but I never said the film was perfect.

A truly disappointing thing for me is the appearance of John Tuturo, which I am sure I spelled wrong.  I don’t like him in these types of roles.  He is much too good of an actor and he seems out of place being in such a nonsensical film.  Maybe it’s just me, but I like him in more intelligent roles, like in the Coen Brothers films.

I laughed more at this film than I have at some of Sandlers more recent ones, like “Click”.  It is by no menas the end all be all of comedy movies, but it is most assuredly good for some serious belly laughs and plenty of chuckles, 3 1/2 axes.

Let me start by saying that this is the 2008 remake of the George Romero classic.  Now to actually call this a remake is stretching things pretty far.  There is almost no relation between this film and the original.  There is an old missle base, but unlike the original it only factors in to the film for about the last 20 minutes (plus the first 5 minutes for a teen makeout scene).  If you watch this as a stand alone movie, not factoring in anything from the original Romero zombie flicks, it can be a kind of enjoyable.

I will admit that I have never been a bigf fan of the fast moving, smart type of zombies.  It just seems to fly in the face of zombie logic.  Zombies should be slow, lethargic, and dumber than dirt.  If you want fast moving bad guys that feast on the flesh of people, go the “28 days Later” route.  Those weren’t zombies.  They weren’t even dead.  They were infected, so their actions are acceptable to me.  Zombies are the reanimated bodies of the dead.  They should act as such.

Moving on.  I am also getting tired of the military is working on some secret new weapon that gets out of control and is unleashed on an unsuspecting town.  I hate seeing films were these secret bases seem to have no security and no safety measures in place.  I’m not saying our military never do anything stupid, but scientists should at least be wearing protective gear when working with dangerous chemicals and contagions.  And, when the military moves in to clean up its own mess, I would think the soldiers sent in would have hazmat gear too.  Maybe I am just too picky.

Moving on.  Once again I am, faced with this question…”How did these people manage to live long enough to face the events that are taking place in the movie.”  I understand that people can panic when the shit hits the fan, but why is everyone a complete moron.  The way some of the people act in these types of movies makes me think they could have just as easily died tying their own shoes or eating a bagel.

There was another thing that bothered me, and this is a technical aspect of the way the film is presented.  At times the film is sped up, I assume to make it look as though these “zombies” are in a frenzy.  It just looks silly, kinda like those old films with Babe Ruth, where everyone looks like they are on speed.

If you can overlook things like what I mentioned above, then yeah, this film can be a little bit of fun.  The acting isn’t amazing, but when the biggest star is Mena Suvari, what can one expect.  She is pretty good, but when you spend your acting wad on her and a short appearance by Ving Rames, well, you make do with what you have then for the rest of the roles. It does not help when you have a poorly written script as far as the dialogue goes.  That seems to be standard with horror type movies.

One other thing I would like to add, something that I think makes this, as well as “Diary of the Dead”, pale when compared to the classic zombie flicks, and even the “Dawn of the Dead” remake.  Anytime I see a cast that is made up of teens and college aged morons I know the film will not be as good as the originals.  You need variety in the people, not just a bunch of sniveling young turds.  You need some grumpy old guy or a nice old lady, maybe a crazy war veteran.  Mix things up.

Despite all the bad things I have to say about the movie I wasn’t overly disappointed.  To be honest that may be due to the fact that I wasn’t expecting too much out of it.  If I consider this a remake of the original, then it gets 1 1/2 axes.  Standing on its own it gets bumped up to 2 1/2 axes.

When Virgil Cole and Everett Hitch arrive in Appaloosa, they find a town suffering at the hands of a rancher named Randall Bragg that means to own everything in it, and who has already left the city Marshall and one of his deputies dead. Cole and Hitch are used to cleaning up after scavengers, but this one raises the stakes by playing not by the rules, but with emotion. Cole and Hitch are hired to save the town from Bragg, but a young attractive widow arrives to complicate matters.  IMDB.

For starters it was good to see Jeromy Irons in a decent film.  It has been a while, and I was starting to forget that he actually is a very good actor.  Ed Harris, well, I have always liked Ed Harris and he is a strong actor and he and Viggo compliment each other very well.  Now Renee Zelwegger is not someone I am fond of.  I have trouble looking at her schrunched face.  Still, her character in the film was well played.

I have heard some people complain that the film was slow, there wasn’t enough action, and the story was weak.  I will disagree.  True, there was not a lot of action.  The amount of action there was felt appropriate for a more realistic western.  Towns didn’t have gunfights everyday.  The film was long and perhaps at times a bit meandering, but overall I think the pacing was good.  I never once felt a need to look to my watch.  The story was always going somehwere, so my interest didn’t falter.  Now the story, true it is a bit soap opera like, I admit that.  But, it is that bit of drama that helps add some tension to the story outside of the plain old hero has to get the bad guy story that permeates the western genre.

This is turning out to be one of those films, where the more I think about it the more I like it.  I think I definitely need to watch it again.  I am also hopeful that Ed Harris will spend some more time directing films, because I think he did admirably here, 4 axes out of 5.