Naked Hobo

When his wife Tessa  (Rachel Weisz) is murdered, British diplomat Justin Quayle (Ralph Fiennes) becomes obsessed with finding out the truth, against the advice of both friends and superiors.  It soon becomes evident that there is a much bigger secret than just the killer’s identity.  Justin finds himself embroiled in a mystery that involves not only his wife, but members of the British High Commission and a pharmaceutical company.

Buoyed by a pair of strong performances by Fiennes and Weisz, this slowly built supsense can be a bit much for the average film viewer.  It progresses very slolwy, yet deliberately.  However, there was much about the film that was very predictable.  Nothing really surprised me as the plot unfolded.  There are signs that this movie really is about two things, winning an Oscar and making a political statement.  Trying to make a film that will appeal to Oscar voters, not a great idea as the purposeful quest for art tends to make bad art.  The political statement, nothing new to film, but you better have a good movie to go with it.  If you take out the strong acting there isn’t a lot of reason to watch this, and the acting alone can make it quite tedious for many people.  I had better hopes for this movie, and if it wasn’t for Fiennes I may not have made it all the way through, 2 Axes.

A group of female vampires is fighting to remain free from their oppressive master.  The women are actually Thralls, a lesser form of vampire.  They can’t turn other people into vampires, they can’t fly, and they don’t kill people.  In order to win their freedom they must complete a ritual that will turn them all into real vampires.  Everything is made rather chaotic when the younger sister of one of the Thralls comes to visit, not knowing what her sister really is.

When the lead villain is played by Lorenzo “The Renegade” Lamas and the lead female characters biggest roles have been as secondary characters on “Battlestar Galactica”, well, what can one expect.  The movie is also pretty dated too, as is shown by the “coming soon to dvd and video cassette” message in the previews.

There was really only one reason why this film was made.  Someone wanted to have a bunch of sexy women strut around for 90 minutes and not really do anything, and they somehow wanted to include Lamas.  I can understand the first part, the second, well, that really baffles me.  Was Lorenzo added for his amazing star power, because he would bring in so many extra viewers?  It is another case of the “this should have just been a porno”.  The acting was about on par with that, as was the script, the only thing missing was more boobies.

Also, what is it with just about every modern day vampire movie having a rave in it?  One would think that many of the older vampires would have different tastes than the average 20 year old.  I guess that is just how vampires blend in so well, they change their moods to fit anything, even really crappy techno.

This movie could have been a lot better than it was.  It could have gone more of the skin flick route and at least been enjoyable to porn lovers.  It could have also gone a bit less corny, and less cliche, okay, everyone stop using the Necronomicon right now.  It wasn’t the worst B-movie I have seen, not by a long shot.  Still, I finished watching it and was more meh than usual.  It left a lot of questions for me, like why don’t I make a crappy vampire movie, apparently it isn’t all that hard.  For what it was, and what it could have been, it squeaks out 1 1/2 Axes.  It earned half an axe just because Lamas is some powerful vampire master in Iowa, yep, Iowa.

Alone and angry, and fueled primarily on alcohol, superpowered Hancock (Will Smith) needs an image makeover.  Enter Ray Emrey (Jason Bateman).  Ray helps Hancock become a real super hero, though Rays wife Mary (Charlize Threon) is less than pleased.  Hancock rises to his potential, but is he really alone in the world.

This movie started off great.  It was funny, had some good action, and had some real character growth.  I was beginning to wonder why this movie got such bad press and faired so poorly at the box office.  Then I saw the second half of the movie.  It just kinda lost me and I lost interest.  It just started to get too sappy and touchy feely and everything that happened was so obvious.  I wanted to see a bit more of the asshole Hancock.  Maybe I just wasn’t in the right mood when I watched it, but by the end I was feeling kinda let down, 2 1/2 Axes.

After her sister Sara is found dead Ariel meets Professor Richard, who is looking for Sara’s journal so he can find the idol of the evil god Baphomet.  Ariel, her boyfriend Paul and Richard are kidnapped by treasure hunters seeking the same idol.  The idol is somehwere in the old insane asylum, which is supposedly haunted.  Once inside the interlopers are picked off one by one.

I am usually not a big fan of remakes, and seeingas this is a sequel to a remake I got about what I expected.  There really aren’t that many horror films anymore.  Now it just seems to be how much gore can we have in 90 minutes.  This uses a lot of the blurred images and skipping frames to try to add a scarier feel to the film, but in the end it just ends up being more of the same splatter with every kill.

The movie also suffers from the too stupid to have lived this long epidemic that is in so many movies.  The characters are so stupid that there really is no way they would have survived the real world long enough to make it to the events in the movie.  People are dying, let’s split up.  I made it out of the haunted house but my friends are still inside, guess I’ll just go back inside.  Sure, fear can make people irrational and apt to react rather than think things through, but these people are just dumb.

The dialogue is lame and even when it is supposed to be dramatic the lines are delivered with no feeling behind them.  The acting is poor, coupled with a crappy script, gives you one lousy movie.  I don’t know why I put myself through this stuff, 1 Axe.

Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson), a billionaire, and Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman), an auto mechanic, have one thing in common, terminal cancer.  The unlikely duo form a bond after sharing a hospital room.  They devise their own bucket lists, things to do before you die, and learn to find the joy in life.

I was in no rush to see this movie when it first came out.  Sure, I like Morgan Freeman, and I kinda like Jack Nicholson (though i think he too often plays variations of himself), but the sappy premise of the film didn’t appeal to me.  I heard numerous good things from other people about this movie, something I need to avoid doing in the future, no one has movie tastes just like me and vice versa.  I didn’t care all that much for it.  Seeing Nicholson play yet another angry man that learns to enjoy living and Morgan Freeman as the nice, mentoring kind of guy, is becoming rather old for me.

The movie was so predictable that it took a lot of the fun out of watching it.  It was also way to sappy and tried to hard to pull at the heart strings.  It wasn’t the worst movie I have ever seen, but it is far removed from the best, 2 Axes.

When her small kingdom is plagued by a fire dragon, Princess Luissa (Amy Acker), tries to enlist the aid of an old knight.  Between the dragon and the ruler of a rival kingdom, King Quilok, Luissa has her hands full.

What can one truly expect from a made for TV movie that features on a Saturday afternoon on the Sci-Fi channel?  Amy Acker was fine as Fred in “Angel”, but it isn’t a great sign when she is the lead role.  And, if it isn’t an Indiana Jones or Lord of the Rings movie, John Rhys Davies is never a good sign either for a great flick.  Still, for what is was, it wasn’t terrible.  The film was fairly well made, especially for an obviosuly lower budget fantasy flick.  The CG for the dragons was well done for the most part, and it was an original representaion of a dragon that I hadn’t seen before.

But, decent CG and pretty costumes can’t make up for poor acting and a blah script.  The film was pretty predictable and nothing really surprised me at all.  I like Amy Acker, and I like Davies, but they just can’t carry a film, especially when the script isn’t up to par, 2 Axes.

Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) is an angry, lonely, and bitter old man.  His wife has just passed away and the old neighborhood is changing, as much as he wishes it wouldn’t.  This disgruntled Korean War vet and retired auto worker has his life turned upside down when a Hmong family moves in next door.  He finds himself quickly embroiled in his new neighbor’s lives when he intervenes during a dispute where a local gang is trying to pressure the youngest son Thao into joining them.  Walt soon finds many of his prejudices put to the test as he gets to know, and care for, these “gooks” as he calls them.

Clint does a great job playing the racist and hard hearted Walt.  Most of us either know or have known someone like Walt.  The Archie Bunker mentality, the racial slurs that flow freely into every conversation, the seeming inability to accept change.  I have heard that some people were offended, both by what Walt says as well as the audience reaction to it.  I admit, I laughed at a vast majority of the racist remarks Walt made.  It was funny.  Not because he was demeaning other people based on their nationaltiy.  No, it was funny because of how the lines were delivered and how the objects of Walt’s scorn responded to them.  It showed how little power those words really have.  The vast majority of them are disregarded almost before the words leave his mouth.  It is funny that what bothers the young Thao most isn’t being called slope or gook or zipperhead, it is when Walt calls him Toad instead of Thao.  It shows how little many of the racial slurs really mean, those slurs don’t define a group a people, it only defines the ignorance of those saying them.  It is funny that even as Walt grows fond of his Hmnong neighbors he still uses many of these slurs even when trying to be nice.  It shows how hard it is to teach an old dog new tricks.  Some things never change.  Walt is Walt, he doesn’t make excuses for his behavior, he doesn’t mince words.  These words, it is just how Walt is, he uses those words when talking to friends as well as strangers, it is a sign of what he has gone through in life.  He is a symbol of a passing age, a portal to a past that is both proud and shameful.

I will also say that I was impressed with the Hmong cast.  As far as I can tell, none of them have any film acting experience.  I won’t say they were amazing, but I thought they did a very good job for a freshman outing.  I got a familiar feel from them that reminded me of some friends from my college days, they felt like a real family with real problems.  And Eastwood, he has shown again that he is a very capable actor, one that can be both gruff and caring.  I think he puts in one of his best performances of his long career and Walt is a character I will remember.

When I first saw the trailer I was thinking this would be more homage to the Dirty Harry movies of the past.  We would get to see that hard assed Clint of old.  In a way, you do see that, but you also see a softer side, even when he is trying to give tough love.  I was very pleased with how the movie progressed and especially with the ending.  Yes, the basic story is old, an old stubborn man learns to love and all that, but I think it is executed wonderfully.  It is cliche without being an overdone cliche, it is still fresh and original enough to be a very good film, 4 1/2 Axes.

Randy “The Ram” Robinson (Mickey Rourke) was once on top of the professional wrestling world, his own video game and action figure.  That was 20 years ago, now he struggles on the independent circuit, playing at VFW Halls and school gymnasiums while working part time at a grocery store.  Facing injuries that should end his career, he attempts to come to terms with his life outside the ring, trying to reunite with his estranged daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) and hoping to kindle a flame with a kind hearted stripper (Marisa Tomei).

I had heard so much about this movie, so much about Rourke, the hype was sky high.  Even with all that going in, I still loved this movie.  I won’t say it was a great movie.  By itself, the movie is good.  The performance of Rourke though is nothing short of amazing.  He didn’t just give the performance of a lifetime, he gave the performance of several lifetimes.  This should go down as one of the greatest roles of all time.  It is rare that you see an actor so fully become their character without being over the top.  It is hard to explain, you see Randy “The Ram”, but you don’t lose Rourke completely.  it is, well, they are one in the same.  Perhaps it is because Rourke too had been at the top and this was his shot at redemption, his chance to not just crawl, but skyrocket back to the pinnacle of the acting medium.

The rest of the cast was brilliant as well.  I have always been a fan of Tomei.  While everyone was overshadowed by Rourke, Tomei was still powerful as Pam/Cassidy.  You could feel the pain she felt as well, the conflict of wanting to be with Randy, but also wanting to keep her distance, to not want to let herself be hurt.

I can see some people not liking this movie.  it is slow and ponderous, and it is incredibly sad and depressing.  But, as a child of the 80’s and a fan of the hey day of wrestling, this was nostalgia perfected.  The way they captured the raw machismo of vintage wrestling, the old blood and guts days of yore.  You don’t have that anymore.  It could have so easily slipped into the over glamorized pageantry of today, but it didn’t.  You got 2 hours of raw emotion and adrenaline.  Everything was laid bare, due mainly to Rourke.

I was deeply moved by the film.  It touched something that I think is inside all of us.  That need to be wanted, to be needed, to be noticed, to be loved, and the heartache that comes with being lost, forgotten and abused.  I want….no..I need to see this movie again, and then again.  I did say it was a sad and depressing movie, and it was, but I left the theater practically inspired.  I felt sadness for the characters, but I left with a greater understanding of myself and of other people.  I don’t know the last time a movie affected me as much emotionally.  I said it was a good movie by itself, but when you throw in the performance of Rourke and his supporting cast, the great directing of Aronofsky, and the punched in the gut reality of it, this is the best film I have seen in a while, I have grown to love it even more as I am writing this, 5 big Axes.

In the not too distant future cloning is a reality.  While animals are fair game, it is illegal to clone humans.  Pilot and family man, Adam Gibson (Arnold Schwarzenegger), finds his life thrown into chaos when he returns home to find a clone living his life.  He is soon embroiled in a vast conspiracy that threatens everything he knows.

There is a reason it took me 8 yars to see this movie.  I wish that reason had taken me a bit longer.  There is really nothing good about this movie.  The highlight is when some bad guy gets his leg shot off with a lazer.  That is pretty much it.  There isn’t even enough action to really keep it even a little bit interesting.  Little note for Hollywood, if your film is relying heavily on the acting prowess of Arnold, you don’t have a good movie.  Arnold is there to kill people, not to give us gripping human drama.  He may be a good governor, but he is not a good actor.  This is why he is a niche actor.

Even the special effects aren’t all that great.  So many scenes are obviously done via greenscreen.  It is appears that the director wanted the strenght of the story to carry this one.  If only that had been possible, 1 Axe.

In the wilds of Australia, lawman Captain Stanley (Ray Winstone) catches two brother criminals, Charlie (Guy Pearce) and Mike.  Still at large is their eldest brother Arthur , the mastermind behind the gangs nefarious deeds.  Stanley forcibly enlists Charlie, giving him 9 days to kill his older brother or else he will execute Mike.

This is a beautifully done movie as far as production value goes.  The cinematography is stunning, due to the glorious Australian setting.  The script is well written and the acting is done wonderfully.  I can see how some supposed movie buffs would find this film to be boring.  There are no huge explosions, no car chases, no shameless sex scenes that have nothing to do with the plot.  There is plenty of violence though, but it is well within the context of the story.  Every drop of blood shed helps either set the tone or progress the story.

I have always been a fan of both Guy Pearce and Ray Winstone.  I think they are both talented actors.  You also get great support from the rest of the cast as well, Danny Huston, Richard Wilson, Emily Watson.  It is through the performances of these people that the film really takes on life.  They breath a distinct realness into the world. Winstone brings great emotion to the character of Captain Shepard, and you can see and feel the conflict in Pearce.  This is how actors should be.

I do feel that I need to watch this movie again.  I will admit that when I fionished wathcing it, initially I wasn’t all that impressed.  Taking some time to think about it more, I now realize that it this movie has quite a bit to offer.  It is a very simple story, yet the approach was elegant.  The ending was a part I liked, and I think that it really makes the movie.  My opinion has changed the longer it has been since I watched it, then I would have gone with about 3 axes, after further thought I am bumping it up to a solid 4 Axes.  We will see how I feel about it after another viewing.