Naked Hobo

A paraplegic marine takes the place of his deceased brother on the distant moon of Pandora in what is called the Avatar Project.  In essence a person is mentally implanted into the genetically made avatar, based on human and alien DNA.  This allows for humans to mix with the native Navi of Pandora.  The Navi live on top of a massive amount of a rare ore that the humans want.  Guess what happens next.

Despite my misgivings about this film, based mostly on some of the unabashedly glowing praise from some folks, I paid good money to see it in the theater.  Having digested it for a few days I don’t feel as bad about it now as I did when I first left the theater.  I still don’t think it was a great movie, nor do I believe that films will never be the same again.  However, from a purely visual standpoint the movie is incredible, most of the time.  I think that there is still a long way to go to get truly believable CG people and animals.  The animals I think looked a bit cartoony at times, and as if someone went out of their way to make things overly exotic.  It may just be me but whenever I saw the Navi, especially the Sigourney Weaver version I got an image of Shrek’s long lost cousins.  I did like the concept of how the Navi can interact with much of the wildlife on Pandora.  The movie actually had some great ideas, I just think some of the implementation was poorly done.  Now, as far as the environment goes, well, that gets a WOW.  I think this film will lose a lot of what makes it beautiful when viewed outside of a 3D theater.

So, the movie was nice to look at.  For 300 million dollars it better be.  Now, if they had just spent a portion of that money on a decent script.  I’m not expecting Oscar caliber, this is a sci-fi action type film.  But, I would like something better than what I got.  I think thought that this is more of a criticism of the general movie going public.  The use of foreshadowing is extremely heavy handed, and I blame the overall inability of many people from being able to figure anything out on their own.  That leads to a very predictable story and very lifeless characters.  Studios live by focus groups and focus groups seem to be made up of the lowest common denominator types.  I understand that they need to make money, I just wish that story didn’t have to suffer simply because Joe Moviegoer wants to see shit blow up.

I’m not going to go into the list of more nitpicky things that bothered me, there were many.  And perhaps it isn’t nitpicky when there are so many flaws, but I am going to leave it there.  I’ll skip the typically stupid decisions made by experienced military commanders, the things that only work when the plot calls for them to work, and the idiocy of supposedly smart people.  This film isn;t the first to have those, and sadly it won’t be the last.  I feel this film needs two separate ratings from me.  For the appearance of the film, the CG, the background, the lush settings the film gets 4 Axes.  It would actually be higher but I think living beings still need some work, and not everything needs to be exotic.  It is a step up from Gollum in the LOTR films, but not the giant leap that some people seem to call it.  As far as story goes the movie gets 2 Axes, poorly executed rehash of numerous other stories.  So, overall I guess we are looking at 3 Axes out of 5.  When I first walked out of the theater I was thinking this was a 1 Axe film.  I needed to try to look at it without all the input from others, those that loved it, as well as those that hated it.  I do believe that if I saw this in a normal theater or on DVD it would have scored lower.

Ben Selleck (James Brolin) is the owner and founder of Selleck Auto, a failing car dealership.  In a desperate last act he brings in hired gun and master car liquidator Don Ready (Jeremy Piven).  Ready, along with his crew, Jibby (Ving Rhames), Brent (David Koechner), and Babs (Kathyrn Hahn), proceed to teach Ben and his employees how to sell cars better than they ever had before,.

So, typical middle of the road comedy for today’s audience.  You have some some humor that really does kind of cross the line, maybe it’s me, but pedophilia just isn’t something that really makes me go all ha ha.  Also, I like Jeremy Piven, I just don’t think he can really carry a film.  He can be funny, and he is superb as a supporting actor, but he just isn’t suited for the lead.  Yeah, there was “PCU”, and while that had its moments it is still a mediocre comedy.  I think Koechner was way under used, probably getting the least camera time of any of the other supporting cast.  That’s sad because he is a great supporting player, and he was wasted.

While not great, I had a few chuckles.  Thankfully it was short enough that it didn’t get into that phase where the whole joke has just gone on too long, so it gets 2 1/2 Axes.  I’ve never bought into producers, and telling me that the same guys that produced this were involved with “Talladega Nights” and “Anchorman” tells me nothing.  Producers don’t mean shit.

While returning from a camping trip, Harry Baldwin and his family find themselves facing a new world as the atomic bombs begin to fall.  In order to keep his family safe they need to head back to the hills to avoid the random looters, bandits, and killers that are waiting to prey on the innocent in this new lawless time.

One may not have the highest of expectations from a 60’s B-movie, and generally that should be the case, but this film is thankfully not bad.  True, it can be quite campy, but a lot of what came out the 60’s tends towards what we now consider camp.  There are obviously some budget constraints.  It is very simply made, even for a B-movie.  Still, there didn’t need to be scenes of leveled cities and rubble everywhere, this is more a film about a man and the compromises he has to make to keep his family safe.  He has to do things he wouldn’t normally do in order for himself, and his family, to survive.

Now, the acting, well, that is absolutely B-Movie caliber.  Even Ray Milland who was once an Academy Award winner for “Lost Weekend”, but by the time this film came along he was a has been and he no longer seems to have any spark left to him.  While the story isn’t all that bad, despite being simple, the acting is often downright awful at times.  While I wouldn’t say this is one to go out of your way to see, it is alright for what it is and when it was made, 2 1/2 Axes.  Would be higher bu the acting really is pretty sour.

Oh yeah, and did you notice the change?  Now I got the year the movie came out up there with the title, hopefully this will help avoid some confusion with movies of the same or similar names.

While moving a herd of horses from Oregon to Wyoming, aging cowboy Prentice Ritter (Robert Duvall) and his estranged nephew Tom Harte (Thomas Hayden Church) become the reluctant guardians for five abused Chinese girls and a former prostitute.  Aside from the tribulations of the trail, the group is hounded by a killer and his gang of thugs.

Robert Duvall plays the aging cowboy quite well once again.  It is nice to see someone play an older man like an actual older man, he gets up slowly, grunts and groans a bit.  He is tired and worn down by a hard life and time, and Duvall plays that wonderfully.  Duvall is definitely the lead in this film, he carries every scene with a sense of strength and dignity.  Church does an admirable job, though he really isn’t given a whole lot to work with, like everyone else he is more a part of the backdrop to Duvall.

The calm and meandering pace of the story suits the story well.  Truth be told, not a whole lot happens that one would normally expect from a western, but knowing the epic westerns that Duvall has been attached to, this was a bit expected by me.  This is more the story of a man, a man too old to truly change, a man too set in his ways to deviate.  Beautiful vistas and wide ranging shots of nothing but landscape only serve to add to the feel of the film.

Though the end was a bit predictable, bad guys get killed, the usual western stuff, I feel that the way they did it was fitting.  Rather than Duvall being the hero at the end, the one that rides in to save the day is Church.  It shows a passing of the reins from one generation to the next.  I think this is a fitting end to what Duvall calls the end of his epic western trio (“Lonesome Dove” and “Open Range” being the others), so I give it a good 4 Axes.

A group of college kids…blah blah blah.  How many times have we seen the group of young coeds that gets stuck with a killer, a monster, an alien, whatever.  This time it is the ghosts of a bunch of old west outlaws in a ghost town that reappears to trap people every 13 years.  This is typical B-movie horror schlock, and I don’t mean that in a good way.

Once again sci-fi channel delivers a fantastic film.  With the awesome star power of Jessica Rose and Randy Wayne, two people you have probably never seen before, you get what the producers didn’t pay for.  The script is so devoid of anything worthwhile and the young people mill about without purpose and in sore need of acting lessons.  The only good that comes of any of this is that many of them get killed so you don’t have to listen to their ridiculously inane banter.  Stupid story that has been done before, and almost never as poorly as this, 0, yep 0 Axes.

Doug Stauber (Sean William Scott) is an assistant manager at a Chicago grocery store and is ready for a promotion.  With a new store opening soon he sees an opportunity to get what he wants.  In comes Richard Welner (John C. Reilly) from Canada, and he also wants the position at the new store.  The new men now struggle for the same job.

While this movie did not wow me in any way, it also did not disappoint.  I’m not really sure what I was expecting from this film, and in some ways I am still not really sure what it is that I got.  It really isn’t a laugh out loud kind of movie.  There are jokes, many of them in fact.  But they are simpler, often subtle, politically incorrect jabs at life, society, and the corporate world.  It does seem to plod along a bit too slowly at times, and there was more than one instance where I just wanted something, anything, to happen, but by the end of it I felt a sense of contentment I guess.

Reilly once again proves that he is a very capable actor, and I want to see him do more serious roles because he is so good at them.  Sean William Scott surprised me a little bit, though I think I will always have a little trouble seeing him as anything other than Stiffler.  The rest of the cast is really just window dressing, nothing bad, but nothing that really stands out either.

If you have ever worked in retail you will probably get more of this movie than other folks.  To many it may seem depressing, and in some ways it is, but it also a bit redeeming too.  While this wasn’t great film, it succeeded for the most part, 3 1/2 Axes.