Female pirate captain Morgan (Geena Davis) and her companion Shaw (Matthew Modine) race against another pirate, Dawg (Frank Langella), to find a hidden treasure. Through in some Royal Navy guys and you’ve got a bag of action and adventure.
Or not. This film managed to make pirates seem really boring. Long ago, well, 15 years ago, when this came out it got awful reviews and totally flopped at the box office. I can now see why. I really need to find something better to do with my time, at least I was building a model while this excrement flowed from my television.
Geena Davis, I don’t know if it is her slightly bug eyes or her kinda whiny voice, but she bugs me. Matthew Modine, well, he’s never been a great actor and he truly peaked with the wrestling wonder that was “Vision Quest”. You think you can act, but you can’t act can ya. I have always liked Frank Langella, but he plays such a cardboard cutout bad guy that his talents are wasted.
I expected to be disappointed by this movie. In that regard I was not let down. So, as far as my expectationts went, they were met, maybe even exceeded. Still, this movie should be put away forever. Wait, no, it should be shown to future film makers as an example of how to waste tons of money and still not have anything to show for it. Or they could just keep wathcing Michael Bay films. This was a real stinker that makes me wish pirates were just make believe, 1/2 Axe.